Why be a mean girl?

Hello, how are ya? What’s the craic? You’re wondering where I’m going with this, aren’t you?!? You see I’m just being friendly. You probably don’t know me. You’ve stumbled upon my blog and thought you’d have a read. For this, I’m very grateful! Stay a while.  Obviously, this is the point at which I advise you to go have a read of my other posts. There are a few that have made Mumsnet Blog of the Day. Just click here and here for them. There is a sweet post to my little boy on his first day at nursery here, a post that was initially written for Mummypages here and one I wrote after a pretty rubbish day of being a stay at home mum, that one is here.

Anyway, I digress…

If I’d started this post with “Hey dickhead!” You probably wouldn’t have read this far and I wouldn’t have blamed you. I don’t know you, maybe you are a dickhead but I wouldn’t say that to your face so why would I say it online?

Recently as one of my Facebook posts, I wrote a little poem and asked fellow Mamas to tag their friends, letting them know they are doing a brilliant job. One lady responded to her friend thanking her and saying “I really needed to hear this today!” Now I don’t know how bad her day was. I’m imagining it was one of those days where she lost her patience quicker than she’d like and the kids ate muck despite her best efforts to discourage them, then threw the dinner she’d spent an hour preparing all over the kitchen floor before asking for a treat.  She probably skipped bath time because she just couldn’t face the carnage and now they are tucked up in bed she’s feeling guilty that today wasn’t their best.

Sound like you? Yip?

We all have days when we need some recognition for keeping those ragamuffins alive and oh boy do we deserve it.

That post was full of glorious Mamas giving each other a pat on the back and that made me smile.  It made me feel proud of my little blog.  That’s the bit I love – seeing Mothers unite in the good days and the bad.

Then there is the other side of the scale.

The side where some people find a confidence, hid behind they’re phones or laptops to be just plain nasty to complete strangers. I can’t understand it. I talk to lots of people I know only in the online world of Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. If I don’t agree with something they say… I scroll on. There is no need for me to get involved. In a space where reality is moulded to look pretty and tell a good story, why is there this shadow of maliciousness?

Before I keep rambling, I should say I haven’t been the receiver of any of this venomousness. So far if I have offended someone or said something out of turn the trolls have let me off with it. Maybe I’m not big enough bait… They just want a reaction. Are they jealous of others success?

This week one lovely blogger I know toyed with the idea of stepping away from her Instagram account because of the hate-filled messages she had received. In the same week, I saw a blogger which I won’t name get catty with someone over their choice of how they fed their baby (why is this always the topic to cause a stir!). Did none of us grow up?! We are not bitchy teenagers fighting over a boy anymore! Surely with so much violence and hate spread around the world, we should be doing our bit to make the world a kinder place.

We are mothers!

Are we not the ones disciplining our children when they are mean to each other?  Trying endlessly to teach them right from wrong. How then is, it ok to call a stranger names online? Who knows how bad they’re day has been already and maybe that one malice comment will be enough to make a really shit day even worse.

Is it not so much easier just to be nice? Surely being mean doesn’t make you cool when you’re thirtysomething, have two kids and a constant whiff of sour milk wafting from every piece of clothing you own? If it does I’d rather just smell and be nice!

Today (8th March) is International Women’s Day.  A day for all women to be recognised for their achievements.  It doesn’t’ matter where they are from the language they speak, the colour of their skin or the faith they have, everyone is recognised.  So for the day, that’s in it, high five Ladies!  I hope whether you were kicking ass in a boardroom or wrangling toddlers at soft play it was a good day and if not don’t fret tomorrow will be better. As for the haters, if you are reading this post, the next time you want to make a mean, snide or just pain vile comment for the sole purpose to make someone else feel bad about themselves hang your head in shame and remember you are lucky enough to be called a ‘Woman’. We are meant to help each other up, not kick each other when we are down!  Change your ways you might actually find you like yourself a little bit more.

Rant over!  xxx